Ann’s Story

I read that descriptor the other day on one of the women’s physician groups I follow on Facebook.  One of the members was describing a family member, I believe, and the description made me pause. Toxically Positive I’ve heard people described as toxically negative, but toxically positive? Is that a thing? It got me thinking […]

If you’re anything like me, hearing those words will lead to almost immediate tachycardia.Those are the words you hear before you hear a story of something you missed, a patient who had a bad outcome, the story of a medical mistake. I used to find that hearing something like that would immediately bring up a

I walk around with numerous voices in my head. I’m not schizophrenic.  These voices aren’t hallucinations.  They’re my very own thinking. As I have grown in my understanding of how my thoughts are responsible for my feelings and actions, I’ve become much more aware of what it is that I’m actually thinking most of the

Last week we talked about the FUCK IT phenomenon.  You make the perfect plan, set out and do everything right, then you mess up just a little.  That one misstep turns into ruin. You give up.  The plan wasn’t executed perfectly so why even bother continuing? You fail to accomplish your goal. This week we’re

I used to be the best at setting myself up to fail.  It didn’t matter the goal although, in my case, most often it was weight loss.  I had color-coded charts, perfectly organized notebooks, and plans for days.  I knew exactly what I needed to do to be successful.  It was beautifully outlined and organized.

My grandfather died on Christmas Eve 1995. I was living in Berlin, Germany, at the time as an exchange student.  We knew my grandfather was sick.  He had advanced heart failure.  He went to sleep that night looking forward to football the next day and he never woke up. That was 26 years ago, but

“We really missed you at Thanksgiving!” “What do you mean you have to work this Saturday?” “How can you miss the party?” “I wish you didn’t have to work on Christmas.” I know it doesn’t surprise any of my friends and family to learn that the hospital is open 24/7/365, but sometimes I wonder if

I’m writing this the Sunday before Thanksgiving.  I just got back from the grocery store and it is clear that most of the people around me are in full holiday prepper mode. The shelves were stripped of cans of pumpkin, breadcrumbs, and heavy whipping cream.  It’s time to celebrate and, for many people, this means

I was in a yoga class the other day and my instructor was talking about the craziness of life.  She mentioned that sometimes she feels like she’s living in a snow globe.  She loves it when everything is settled, but, occasionally it seems, someone comes and shakes her snow globe and everything goes crazy. Thank

My husband recently had Covid-19.  He’s fully vaccinated and he had a very mild illness.  I’m also fully vaccinated and I’ve had my booster as well.  We lived together the entire time.  I tested negative initially and I never developed a symptom.  My normally very active husband stayed home in isolation for 10 days and

I used to tell anyone who would listen that I didn’t care at all what other people thought of me.  I thought I was wearing that fact around like a badge of honor, but what I’ve now come to realize is that I was using that statement much more like a suit of armor.  I

One of the first concepts I teach my coaching clients is that it is our thoughts that cause our feelings.  It is not the things that happen around us or the actions of others.  We often coach through numerous issues in their lives as we refine their understanding of this relationship. Sometimes it comes easily

I’ve had some difficult patients recently. They’ve been incredibly sick and our ICU has been incredibly full.  This has meant that I’ve been pushed to take care of these sick patients for longer than I typically would.  It has moved me out of my comfort zone as an emergency medicine physician and I’ve received some

It’s a matter of life and death! This is the healthcare mantra.  If we fuck up, someone could die. That sounds helpful, doesn’t it?  I mean, if I constantly remind myself that what I do is important and that the stakes are incredibly high, I’ll perform better.  Won’t I? Well, let’s think about that.  How

I work nights.  I put a priority on leaving work on time.  The feeling of watching the next doctor walk into the department after a long overnight shift is wonderful.  I also love to leave a good-looking department for that person coming on to shift.  I love it when the waiting room is empty and

I had a doozy of a shift last night.  Medically speaking, it wasn’t all that difficult.  I knew how to diagnose and treat each of my patients, but emotionally it stung.  There were the two patients not much older than I am.  One had newly diagnosed metastatic cancer and the other died in my care

I really enjoy watching live sports and, in recent years, I’ve been quite fascinated by the expansion of instant replay.  It was so clear for so long that our ability to observe the plays in real time was limited.  It was limited by our human powers of observation and often by our preconceived notions of

I’ve received a lot of positive feedback from my recent post about rewriting my personal narrative right now when it comes to how I think about Covid and those who are choosing not to be vaccinated.  With that in mind, I thought I’d share a little more about how powerful this rewriting type of work

August 31st was the last day that anyone could work at my hospital without being vaccinated against Covid-19.  Our healthcare system decided that this policy would be the best way to keep our patients and staff safe during the pandemic.  As you might imagine, the policy was not without controversy, and it did lead to

I’ve had several people reach out to me after my last post to ask me how my shifts went now that I’m back to work and Covid is surging.  I’ll be honest.  I’ve had some of the most rewarding shifts of my career over this past week and a half.  By making the choice ahead