I’ve been thinking a lot lately about suffering. I find that the concept is often something that we think about in the abstract or in its most acute form. When I hear someone talking about suffering, my mind immediately jumps to visions of people struggling to meet their basic needs. I don’t really think about myself.
Then I headed down the YouTube rabbit hole of videos about various religious and philosophical beliefs. I never cease to be amazed by the content that is available there.
The Buddha believed that most suffering is caused by a tendency to crave or desire things.
Think about that. Then think about what you are bombarded with all day every day. We live in a culture that feeds on craving and desire. They are the forces that keep our economy growing and wheels of capitalism spinning.
When I reflect on my life and think about suffering in that way, however, it makes me realize that I’m responsible for a significant amount of unnecessary suffering.
We are taught in coaching that the only reason we ever want anything in life is because of how we think we will feel when we get it.
I want to lose weight so I can feel good about my body.
I want to graduate from medical school so I can feel secure and productive in my career.
I want to remodel my house so I can feel more comfortable at home.
I want to buy that item, eat that food, drink that alcohol so I can feel that burst of momentary pleasure the dopamine release in my brain gives me and not feel the other things I’m feeling.
The only problem with this approach is that it doesn’t work. It just creates suffering. We know this because we know that it’s not the things we buy, accomplish, or achieve that create our feelings. It’s our thoughts.
If getting the thing we wanted really made us feel better, then we’d all feel great. I’m assuming the everyone reading this has fulfilled at least one desire in life. The reason, then, that we don’t all feel great is that so often our brains immediately move on to focus on the next desire.
Just like that we move from momentary bliss to recurrent suffering.
Now I have no desire to give up my incredible life for a monastic life and spiritual enlightenment. So, I’ve been thinking about how I can use these teachings in my daily practice to lessen the amount of suffering that I create for myself. I think the answer really is to focus on our why. This is the reason you decide to do something and the reason you keep showing up. Having a powerful “why” is one of the most valuable tools you can use to help yourself accomplish anything.
The real trick when it comes to ending the cycle of suffering, however, is to pay attention to the “whys” that tell you that once you accomplish, achieve, attain, or acquire whatever it is you’ve been wanting, you’ll feel better.
You won’t. Because the cycle will immediately begin again.
If you’d like help with this, I’d love to work with you. You can start by signing up for one of my free offerings found below or you can email me directly at hello@unicorndoctor.com.
Free Mini Course:
How To Feel Better On Your Next Shift
(geared toward emergency medicine professionals, but the lessons apply universally)
Free Printable Guide:
7 Steps For Getting Your Priorities Straight
(a straightforward process to help your calendar align with your priorities in life)
